Monday, July 24, 2006

a life on hold


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When I start to think about all the things I want to do, I end up feeling like my life is on hold, waiting for some miracle to come along and make me better.

I was just getting started in my career when my migraines exploded from periodic to chronic. I worked really hard to get my law degree and pass the bar. But shortly after I started in this position I became sick and instead of getting better, I seem to get progressively worse.

I wasn't ready to have kids when this started. But since that time I've really warmed to the idea. My baby bug is at red-alert intensity. Yet, how can I even think about trying to get pregnant when I'm sick all the time? Worse, I have concerns about how I'll get by without the medications that do provide some relief while I'm pregnant. My current prophylactic meds are not perfect, but they make my situation more tolerable. Adoption may be an option for us, but I want to enjoy being a parent and give as much of myself to my children as possible. I don't know how I'll be able to do that feeling the way I do.

How have you addressed these issues in your life?

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