Wednesday, November 29, 2006

rebuilding my foundation

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Losing my job has made me feel a bit like the rug was pulled out from under me. Perhaps identifying myself so closely with my job was not healthy, and this is just the universe's way of pointing that out to me. I cannot change what happened, but if there is anything to be learned from the experience, I want to make sure I comprehend and retain the lesson.

I had my first acupuncture session in ages yesterday, and it was fabulous. I felt feeling more grounded than I have in a long, long time. I started to wig out a bit at the beginning of the treatment, but I made myself calm down and take slow, deep breaths, which enabled me to move through those anxious feelings brought on by my mind running the treadmill of negative, panicked thoughts.

C, the practitioner, was encouraged that I was able to do this and that I bled for the first time ever when she removed the needles from my left brow bone, which is the location of perhaps 98% of my migraines. She said this indicates that the blocked chi in that area is starting to break up. Despite the new agey-ness of this concept, it makes a lot of sense.

I also like that she shares thoughts with me that she has learned through her meditation practice. I have been half-heartedly searching for some kind of spiritual community or connection for a couple of years now. I am considering either attending the local branch of my home church or checking out the local Buddhist center. I need the love and support of a spiritual community so much in my life right now. It has been about 10 years since I had that in my life, and these tough times have helped me to realize that I have a hole waiting to be filled. (Why does that sound so dirty?)

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