Friday, December 28, 2007

I need help managing this neck pain


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More than anything I hope with all my heart that my visit to the clinic in Dallas will do something to help me manage this pain better.

I'm taking a lot of pain medication. Sometimes I start questioning whether I might be taking it when I don't need it. I think that questioning is just part of the strong tendency I have to beat myself up. Cause I'm in an extraordinary of pain most of the time and have been for as long as I can remember. It really, really sucks.

I feel like I have to constantly distract myself with Internet or movies or podcasts because if I even stop to think for a second my brain just becomes fixated on pain and I often feel like bursting into tears at how overwhelming it is.

I'm so tired of living like this. I'm tired of having a chip on my shoulder as a reaction to trying to manage this. I need a break.

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