Monday, January 21, 2008

helping me take care of myself


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Weariness from the length of this struggle, loneliness and isolation, dealing with a very difficult week entirely consumed with extraordinary pain and vomiting and coming to terms with my new diagnoses has left me feeling emotionally fragile. It is safe to say that I was butting up against my breaking point when I walked into my therapist's office Friday afternoon.

After talking a bit about everything I was feeling, Dr. O said, "You need to go home and be taken care of, don't you?" And she was completely right. Unfortunately, I still wasn't feeling well enough to trust myself to be able to drive to my parents' house on my own, so my wonderful husband brought me (and Felix) here after a really long week of school and work yesterday. Oddly enough, I feel like we've both benefited from being here and having people to lean on.

I'm planning to stay at least until next weekend, but maybe longer. When I'm here I am able to get help with all the little things that are really hard for me. I eat better. I'm less likely to feel sorry for myself and shut down emotionally. I just don't seem to get as bogged down by trying to keep everything afloat. It's very good.

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