Thursday, August 13, 2009

Chronic Illness & Marriage: Why My Husband is a Keeper


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I may be seeing the issue narrowly and through the lens of my experience, but I think whether your relationship/marriage makes it through chronic illness is a function of the kind of partner you have chosen.

My husband is amazing. He works an awful second job so that I can have health insurance, works 80+ hours a week and still bears much of the burden for keeping the household running. Lately I've been able to keep the laundry clean, the kitchen and dishes clean, the bills paid and groceries in the fridge, but that's about it. He does everything else and even found time to build a fence outside for my darling little dog. (With my dad's help. No, Dad, you're not chopped liver!)

He is patient and understanding about everything. All the expenses, the lack of time together (even when he is actually home, but I'm sick), almost never having a chance to be intimate and even my emotions and anger about my situation. When I'm having a good day he celebrates with me. When I'm not he takes care of me or at least lets me know he's thinking of me while he's working.

I truly feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have this man in my life. I don't know how we could have made it for more than 11 years (6-1/2 years of marriage and 6 years of chronic migraines) if he wasn't the amazing, caring, loving, patient man he is. I don't want to make it sound like I haven't tried to work on my faults and be the best partner I can be, because I have, but the reason this relationship works is because we both want to be in it no matter what.

And I have to say I knew he was a special when I had my first migraine since we'd started dating. We barely knew each other, but he got me an ice pack, made me a PB&J sandwich and just sat there quietly to make sure I was okay. I knew then he was definitely a keeper.

This post is my entry in February's Health Activist Blog Carnival. If you're interested in participating too, you can read all about it here.

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DISCLAIMER: Nothing on this site constitutes medical or legal advice. I am a patient who is engaged and educated and enjoys sharing my experiences and news about migraines, pain and depression. Please consult your own health care providers for advice on your unique situation.