Monday, March 15, 2010

Like a Moth to a Flame


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Many times I've wondered why I'm drawn toward books, movies and TV programs that explore what life is like for people living with mental illness or chemical dependence. God knows I have enough first hand experience to fill volumes, so why do I keep going there? Is it serving some function for me or is it like picking a scab and never letting it heal? I feel very deeply for other people and their suffering. I recognize their pain because I know it. But I feel almost nothing for myself.

I am a dark, dark, dark person. I have an iTunes playlist called "Wallowing Songs". Songs that make me cry and hurt inside. I try to avoid listening to it. But sometimes it feels so good. I'm not a cutter, but I think it must be similar. A release. These depressing shows seem to serve the same function.

Good news. TLC is starting a new show about addicts called Addicted. It's like my birthday and Christmas all in one!

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DISCLAIMER: Nothing on this site constitutes medical or legal advice. I am a patient who is engaged and educated and enjoys sharing my experiences and news about migraines, pain and depression. Please consult your own health care providers for advice on your unique situation.