Monday, April 26, 2010

Therapy Drop Out: No Graduation Day

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I've been mostly honest about my struggles with depression. I mean, I told you all the dirty truth about my personal hygiene challenges and agoraphobia, for goodness sake. But I'm hiding one big depression-related secret: I'm a therapy drop out.

I'd been seeing the same therapist for a couple of years when things started to fizzle out last fall. My appointments became further and further apart, which is a good thing in that I was doing okay, but a bad thing because I do better when I go more regularly. I can see this now. 

Plus, I began to get the feeling the therapist didn't know what to do with me. We'd done a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy, which can be very helpful, but I think I also need a chance to just get things off my chest and force myself to face things I would otherwise ignore. So even though she might have felt she didn't have anything else to offer me, I think just being there as a mirror and a sort of impartial friend who knows me really well would be good for me.

Of course, we're moving in the next few months, so this relationship likely would have ended at that point anyway. I'm not sure what I'll do then. I don't know that I could find anyone in the small town we're moving to who I'd feel comfortable seeing, but I could see someone in a nearby larger town. I'm weighing my options in the meantime. Should I make an appointment with my current therapist and try to put this all on the table? Should I schedule an appointment at the community mental health center and start fresh with someone new? I really don't know what to do, but I don't think I am doing well enough to not see someone on a regular basis. That much is clear.

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DISCLAIMER: Nothing on this site constitutes medical or legal advice. I am a patient who is engaged and educated and enjoys sharing my experiences and news about migraines, pain and depression. Please consult your own health care providers for advice on your unique situation.