Friday, December 21, 2012

Clueless, But Waking Up to My Depressed Reality


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In retrospect my complete lack of enthusiasm for holiday shopping and gift giving should have told me everything I needed to know about my emotional health. Luckily I'm great at denial.

So I'm taking two steps here and now to get my mental and emotional health stabilized.

(1) I'm coming out about it to all of you, my awesome friends and readers.

(2) I just dashed an email to my therapist about the situation. I haven't been seeing her regularly for well over a year now, and I think it's caught up with me.

Here's what I said to her:


Hello, A. I hope you're doing well. It's been too long, as evidenced most by where I'm at right now with my mental health.

I'm sure you're very busy the next couple of weeks with existing appointments and the holidays, but I wondered if you might be able to fit me in for an appointment and re-establish a regular schedule of appointments for me.

I want to emphasize that I'm perfectly, 100% safe, but really struggling. The wheels have really fallen off my bus since the start of December. There was a lot of good for me in November, and the let down from that being over has been brutal.

I just get so stuck if I'm not doing the things I need to do to stay as well as I can be, and I haven't been doing them. I could use help with setting and working toward some goals and following through with my self care routines.

I'm sure being with my family will help and maybe that can give me the boost I need to get my feet back under me.

Thanks and Merry Christmas!

Diana

I really *am* getting by. I promise. But I'm hanging on moment-to-moment to having an even mood. I'm experiencing a really short fuse in dealing with the normal, every day issues we all experience in life. I don't want to get out of bed, and I haven't been most days.

In a way I feel like I came to Wednesday and realized how close we are to Christmas and that I've done the bare bones minimum to get ready despite the fact that I love the holidays. I love having a cozy, decorated home, making cookies & candies and baking and shopping for thoughtful gifts. I'm just thankful I finally came clean with myself about what's going on so I can follow through with the next steps in getting my stability back.

Wishing a very Merry Christmas to each and every one of you who celebrate, and a beautiful holiday season to all.

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DISCLAIMER: Nothing on this site constitutes medical or legal advice. I am a patient who is engaged and educated and enjoys sharing my experiences and news about migraines, pain and depression. Please consult your own health care providers for advice on your unique situation.